A lily grooms herself night after night to bloom at the first dawn, but a bear goes all macho and sucks honey at one go from the honeycomb. A baby bird flaps her delicate wings and attempts to fly, day after day so it could one day soar high above in the sky, but a cub’s first attempt at a roar is louder than the lawn mower’s first gear.

Why is that I have to prepare a hundred days to say ‘H-h-hello’ but one day a bastard comes and recites a giant joke with perfect pauses in the same go.

I am angry and I am sad because life’s not fair. And since life’s not fair I cheat.

I practice saying ‘hello’ 1000 times in the mirror

H-h-hello, hhello, h-ello,hello. Hello!’

hello,hello,hello,hello,hello,hello,hello!’

I did it. See.

And then I practice to smile. I hide my shaky hands under the table, I gleam with pretence confidence and say ‘hello’ and a funny joke all in one go and no one is wiser. They laugh. They smile. They admire.

Today I belong in the other. Today I am the bitch who gets all her jokes and all her ‘hellos’ right. Tomorrow might be different. Tomorrow I may stutter. Tomorrow I may stumble and fall. But today is my day. Today is the day I rise and shine, feast on acclaim divine.

Because today I am the seductress, the queen, the pretence extrovert and none of them are wiser.

_________________________

Watch ‘The Introvert’s Banter’ by Rabia Kappor one of my favourite poetry slam video. It’s amazing and delivers exactly what I want to say.

___________________________

Advertisements